For years, I thought buying things was the same as self-care. A new bag after a hard week. Designer shoes because “I deserved them.” But beneath the glossy shopping bags and momentary highs, there was something else: stress. Credit card guilt. A creeping sense that I was working just to keep up with people whose lives weren’t even mine to live.
Then one day, while standing in front of a mirror holding yet another “must-have” handbag, I asked myself: Who am I trying to impress?
That single question unraveled a lot.
What I learned was simple but not easy: being in control of my money feels better than owning something flashy for five minutes of validation. I used to confuse spending with empowerment. But true power, I found, is in saying no—not just to unnecessary purchases, but to the pressure to perform wealth I don’t actually have.
When I stopped retail therapy, I noticed something unexpected: clarity. I saw how often I used shopping to avoid boredom, loneliness, or comparison. I began tracking what I spent—not to punish myself, but to understand myself. And with every unnecessary swipe I didn’t make, my confidence quietly grew.
I don’t miss the thrill of impulsive shopping. I don’t miss the bloated closet full of things I bought to feel included. What I have now is better: calm, contentment, and a bank account that reflects someone who values her future more than a fleeting trend.
I still enjoy nice things. I just enjoy not being owned by them even more. So no, I didn’t give up joy. I just stopped renting it.
I designed an affirmation card I can wear or turn into a mug design on Creative Fabrica to help me stick to my commitment to never overspend on luxuries again. Check it out here: https://www.creativefabrica.com/product/frugal-not-fragile-design-for-shirt-mug/ref/2135193/
